Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize