Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
