you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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