So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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