i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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