i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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