Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
