Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
