so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm passing your future prison.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
