You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize