Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
