I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
