I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
