My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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