the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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