Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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