I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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