wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize