toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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