so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize