Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
