Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize