You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
tell me about the eggs
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