Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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