Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
