I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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