HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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