No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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