I CAN MOONWALK!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
