you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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