you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm at about main and main street
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
