You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
