im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
