I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
