I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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