forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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