went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
