There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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