God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
