i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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