yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why did my mother make you get naked?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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