He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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