Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The adults are the big ones right?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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