yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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