I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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