watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
