She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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