remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
