How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize