Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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