ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
