Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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