her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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