So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Who died my cat blue again?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
