Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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