It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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