you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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