Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
