The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am mentally ready for anal.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize