honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
