Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
