And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
