the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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