Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
