Where are you?
In a non slutty way
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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