the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
