I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
