He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
