she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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