We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
