I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
