Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
