this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
