so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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