And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
