I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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