I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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