Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
