I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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