another moral hangover. fuck.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize