He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
