My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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