There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
